Why Gaining Weight Is As Hard As Losing It

(Me at 12st 8)

I’ve been on my fair share of fad diets. In fact, I first remember trying the Atkins diet when I was about 18, which is hilarious because a couple of years ago I could have only WISHED I was as skinny as I was when I was 18.

As a teenager, I was always small. I literally ate McDonald’s breakfast every day in year 9 and didn’t put on a pound. But I started suffering with my periods and got put on the pill and then a couple of years later, I of course, discovered alcohol. Give it a couple of years for me to be put on citalopram and I started working in London and I went up to my heaviest, 12st 8lbs. Just to clarify I know that isn’t big at all, but it really was for me, someone who has always straddled the line between 9st & 10st. For other reasons, I gave up alcohol, and the weight started falling off.

Then I got sick. Really sick. I was so severely anaemic I couldn’t get up stairs at the tube station, my levels were under half what they should be and I was feeling/being sick after everything I ate. I went for test after test after test, and finally after specifically requesting my Doctor test me for it I was diagnosed with endometriosis.

Despite treatment for both that and anaemia, I’m still struggling to put on weight. I know what you are thinking “oh shut up you skinny bitch, get a real problem” but it really is a worry. First of all, all my friends kids are at an impressionable age now and they obviously see me unwell and hear me talk about it. While getting compliments is nice it really worries me when it’s in front of them as I really don’t want them to think being sick is a productive way to lose weight.

(Smaller now but constantly tired – swings and roundabouts I guess)

Also look at what the compromise is: I might be skinny but I am pale with huge dark circles and look and feel like I haven’t slept since 1989. I’d much rather weigh more and actually be healthy.

Trying to actively gain weight can be just as stressful as trying to lose it. I’m currently having a build up shake every morning and eating around 4,000 calories a day and I’m still not gaining anything significant. I do wonder if there is anyone else who is in the same boat as me so I will be posting regular updates on my blog & vlog.

Currently 9st 4lbs so hoping to put some on this week!

Comments

  1. August 21, 2019 / 7:54 am

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this Kelly. I suffer from endometriosis too but have the opposite issue.

    My weight shot up around the same time that my endo symptoms presented themselves and over the last year, I’ve struggled to shed more than a few pounds.

    I hope that it gets better for you and that you start seeing a weight gain soon.

    Hayley | https://www.thriceuponadream.com

    • kellyjackson2102
      August 21, 2019 / 5:55 pm

      Sorry to hear it’s gone the other way for you. That is more common isn’t it? With me it’s just ny anaemia is so bad I get really sick. Hope you are managing it and keeping well. I’ve met so many people online that suffer. Thinking of starting a podcast called “our fannys are fucked” 😂

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