I am vain.
I will freely admit this. I will look at my reflection in anything. A spoon, the microwave, someone’s eyes in the moonlight. (NB: if you have ever been on a date with me and think I was looking lovingly into your eyes, the chances are I was checking to see if my eyebrows were still even).
Standing in the shop today, the man who smelled like a wet dog who had just pissed itself while smoking a joint got me thinking.
Why DO people smell?
Why do people smell of piss?
Why do people smell on the bus?
I have visited some of the poorest countries in the world and every single one of them has better personal hygiene than 60% of the UK. We are in a epidemic. There is a cure, it’s called soap, and you can get it in the 99p shop.
Still so many are happy to dodge. I used to get the bus to work, and there was a guy with fingernails longer than Nikki Minge’s who smelled so eye wateringly bad, I am positive sitting next to him would of incurred side effects. He had a smell radius further than one of a nuclear fallout.
Another guy on the same bus, outwardly didn’t look to shabby but smelled foul. I always avoided being near him, but one day I noticed something from afar. He had an ipad. HE HAD A FUCKING IPAD. This guy can afford an ipad and not soap?
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