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First and foremost I just want to warn you: this list is going to be controversial. I don’t share takeaway tastes with the majority. I go a bit rogue here, but if you read on I will fully back up every choice and it’s ranking.
I know what you are all thinking. You are all thinking of that “end of the night” kebab when you stumble out of the club after 11 proseccos. That’s not quite the kebab I mean because I don’t even drink. I’m talking about a healthy chicken shish from my local posh kebab place. The reason it has been promoted to a “posh kebab” place is because you get cous cous AND rice (yes I am that easily pleased, fuck knows why I am single). By nature, I am not a healthy person, but this is my favourite because it isn’t greasy and fried.
Look at me contradicting myself and saying I like one thing because it isn’t greasy and fried and then the next thing on my list being fried. The trick is, if you get good fried chicken, it shouldn’t be greasy. I don’t go in for KFC, I prefer places like Wing Wing in Hammersmith. Fried chicken isn’t just a passion of mine, it’s a way of life. You’ll notice that I have an entire section on my blog dedicated to fried chicken called “Tried Chicken“. If you want a less greasy alternative you could always make your own with my fried chicken recipe. My secret weapon is a wok.
Seeing as I love spicy food so much, it’s not a surprise that my third favourite takeaway is Indian. I’ll usually opt for a Phal or a Vindaloo because I crave validation and want to look hard in front of (or on the phone to), the takeaway people. Once I went to an Indian near ours and they started bringing me glasses of water when they realised the Phal was for me.
Chinese in a restaurant is fantastic, but Chinese from a takeaway not so much so. It breaks my heart when I see people bragging about how good their Chinese takeaway is because I’ve still not found one up to restaurant standard near me. I just find everything from a takeaway soggy to be honest with you. Especially dumplings. Absolute horror show from a takeaway.
I have a secret and I feel like admitting it will make me seem like a weirdo. I don’t like pizza. There, I said it. I don’t DISLIKE pizza, but it is just such an average takeaway for me. It doesn’t jump out enough for me to love it or hate it. It is neither here nor there.
Burger King is another one that is hit or miss for me. Sometimes you get a good Burger King and sometimes it seems like they fried the onion rings for 37 years. Their burgers are just “ok”, and their chips are disgusting. McDonald’s is a lot better than burger king, but in general I can live without it. I know Fiat 500 Twitter lose their shit over chicken nuggets but they ain’t as good as a nice chicken shish.
Fish and Chips
All I’m saying is mushy peas. End of.