Unfortunately, I am no stranger to the ‘junk’ email. Due to the fact that my email is on the public domain for enquiries, I get them all. I can’t count how many times I get asked if I want my penis enlarged or told I have been left a trillion Ugandan dollars. I even get some particularly pleasant ones about people building my SEO for me (thank you my lovelies but I’m not doing terribly bad).
I got one the other day, that really made me think. I got an email advertising the smart kettle. Yes, you heard that right, a smart kettle. I’ve heard of smart fridges. Yes ok, good concept. Soon there will be a fridge that creates my shopping list for me when things run low. Never mind that I might FANCY SOMETHING DIFFERENT ONE WEEK. I mean one week, instead of chicken and salad, I might want chicken and veg. So when you send me off with this shopping list fridge, you need to think.
So anyway onto this smart kettle. Now for me, I think kettles are pretty effing smart anyway. To be honest, I wouldn’t know that water is boiled in the pan without putting my hand in it, and getting 3rd degree burns, so an appliance that knows when water is boiled is already doing better than me. We have a nice blue kettle, which boils water. My Uncle in the Philippines has a water cooler which boils water instantly, and after 3 months it was a bit of a shock to come home and have to actually boil my kettle, but aside from that, I really do not have any grievances with Mr Breville.
I am an impatient person, but I have not yet reached the point where waiting for water to boil for a few minutes for my peppermint tea equally makes me boil with rage, until it is a close call between who will explode first, myself or the kettle.
Instead, I find the whole, boiling the kettle thing quite a relaxing process, and I always do something in those ‘kettle boiling’ minutes like pack my lunch quick for the next day or feed the cats, and feel a great sense of achievement, like I am the only person in history who has utilized my water boiling time so effectively.
Now come barging in these new fangled kettles that you can programme to start boiling, from anywhere in the house. So potentially, you could be having a wee and think “Shit, I better replace all that liquid I just excreted FAST” and set your kettle to boil before you have even washed your hands and have some boiling water ready as soon as you come downstairs.
According to this article about the iKettle http://designtaxi.com/news/361282/A-Smart-Kettle-That-Wakes-You-Up-Boils-Water-And-Keeps-It-Warm-For-You/ it also suggests it starts boiling it for you when you wake up in the morning.
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but if my kettle started having a casual chat with me while I poured my granola into a bowl I would absolutely shit myself. In fact, if my kettle said “Good morning Kelly, would you like me to boil some water?” I would throw Holy Water on it and call the police.
The problem is, we have all gone so ‘Smart mad’ as a civilization, we are just plonking smart technology in anything. a smart TV is a pretty good concept. Most people spend more time watching Youtube than actual TV channels now, so it would just be a natural progression.
But a smart kettle? A smart fridge? Really? Is this really necessary. Maybe the next generation could do with learning how to write a shopping list of having the patience to boil the kettle. What’s next a smart toaster that asks you how you like your toast?
Is my mug tree going to start having a rant because all the mugs on it don’t match? Will my oven start screaming ‘KELLY YOUR BLOODY BURNING STUFF AGAIN?’.
To be honest, the answer is more than likely yes. But for now, I am happy being old fashioned actually fancying a cup of tea and then waiting for the water to boil.