Do you despise exercise?
Yes! YES. I HATE exercise. Anyone who say’s ‘Oh I feel really good after a workout’ is actually an Alien from a different planet who you should be very careful of and wear a foil hat around.
I mean who actually LIKES exerting themselves to the point of exhaustion for an hour a day just to burn off one Cadbury’s chocolate finger. I’ve tried it all. I’ve been a member of, and left every gym in Basildon (if any of you are reading this, your cheque is in the post). I’ve tried running/jogging (when I say running/jogging I mean running two minutes then rewarding myself the whole way around the rest of the park with a nice slow stroll).
I’ve tried Yoga, which I do actually enjoy, but my instructor moved to Portugal and I never got round to joining another class. I can’t to Zumba because I am about as coordinated as as an 18 month old after accidentally downing half a bottle of Calpol. I love swimming but I can never be bothered with the whole changing aspect of the situation.
The truth is, the only exercise I REALLY don’t mind doing, is exercise that does not mean I have to leave the warmth and safety of my own home. Instead of having to faff about in a smelly gym shower and then travel home with wet hair, once I have completed half hour on my cross-trainer I can just crawl upstairs into a nice bath.
So if you are like me, it’s not the actual exercise part that winds you up, but all the faff that comes with it.
Here are a few ways you can lose weight in your own home.
Get a cross-trainer, exercise bike, rowing machine or treadmill.
Now no one is saying you need to chuck out your slightly annoying 15 year old to go and live with the Grandparents and embark on a massive, expensive DIY project to make a home gym. Just pick one thing you feel you may be comfortable with, and go with that. I have, and suggest a cross-trainer, as it’s quite an all round work out. As much as I hate physical exertion, I whack it in front of the TV and pop on a TOWIE or Made in Chelsea on catch up, and by time Spencer Matthews has cheated on 4 women I have done a solid 40 minutes on the cross-trainer and burned off half a Twix.
Whatever you go for, being in your own home rather than the gym is a lot better, as you can get as sweaty and smelly as you want without worrying. Also, you don’t feel pressured to near on kill yourself because the tart next to year is basically running a marathon. Remember, any exercise is better than none, so even if you can only do a few minutes to start off with, it’s still better than sitting on your arse digging into the leftover Quality Street from Christmas.
You can grab some absolute bargains in the Argos sale at the moment, so grab them before you change your mind and decide to stay unfit: www.argos.co.uk/static/ArgosPromo3/includeName/get-set-for-fit.htm?tag=ar:pc:ecomm:sports
Take up Yoga or Pilates.
Unless you have been living in the Venezuelan Amazon for the last few years, you would undoubtedly have heard of Yoga and Pilates. Although they are quite different to those in the know, the basis of both of them is a series of stretches and poses that you can perform on an inexpensive mat.
The benefits of Yoga and Pilates don’t come from seriously exerting yourself and testing your endurance like running, but from the way you stretch, move and breathe. As well as not being stressful to the joints like certain exercise, Yoga has many health benefits as well as weight loss like boosting immunity and generally making you feel less like your cat is one more shit in your handbag away from you killing it with the broom.
A great way to calm down after a long day as well as getting some seriously good abs, Yoga and Pilates have increased in popularity ten fold over the last few years.
You can buy mats from everywhere and anywhere now, and here’s a great website to get you started on some home Yoga: http://www.doyogawithme.com/
If you can afford a package, try Shapeshifter yoga for everything you could ever need “http://shapeshifter.reflink.com/a15447”
Get an exercise DVD.
(Image from: http://beaut.ie/2014/prancercise/)
With so many celebrity exercise videos on the market, you really do not need to worry about finding one for you. Davina, an exercise video veteran has a new one out this year, and Vicky Pattinson’s one has been making waves. Another contender is Josie Gibson who actually looks amazing now, and a far cry from what she looked like in the Big Brother house after a lifetime of Jagers and Kebabs.
A lot of people question the reality of them, with some celebrities even being accused of having surgery instead of losing weight the honest way as shown in the video.
My views? Again, if you are getting moving and doing some exercise each day, who cares what your chosen celebrity actually looked like, it’s still good for you.
We’ve come a long way since ‘Geri Yoga’ and a lot of celebrities are now trying all sorts of new exercises ranging from getting fit in 7 minutes to 7 years. Just make sure if your TV is near your window, you shut your curtains before you start so the local youths don’t think you are double waving at them and egg your house.
Apparently, Davina’s 7 minute fit is the best bet of 2015, which you can grab here on Amazon by clicking skinny little Davina:
The 7 minute workout.
Those crazy scientists eh? Saying all sorts of crazy shit like chocolate and alcohol are bad from you and we can now all get fit if we just exercise daily in the time it takes to boil an egg.
The ‘7 minute workout’ gained steam when a New York Times article covered it, and there are now apps upon apps for your phone or tablet that can guide you through, if you don’t wish to do it the old fashioned way and print it off and time yourself.
A combination of 12 exercises including planking and wall sit’s, it probably looks easier on the pictures than it actually is, and having tried it, it’s not until you try and do it daily you realize it could just be intense enough to work.
Can I just add a slight disclaimer though, if you do this work out and still eat McDonalds and Pizza on a daily basis, you will stay fat.