Although I’m ten years shy of being 40, I have a lot of friends in this age range. They are a really varied bunch. Some are married with kids, some are just together with their partners and some are single. I’m always keen to hear about the exploits of my friends who are single and over 40 to see if the dynamics of dating are still the same. Fundamentally there isn’t a lot of difference. People that are dating (especially women) who are over 40 may feel slightly self-conscious, but there really isn’t a lot to worry about once you start getting into the swing of things. Here are a few tips if you are feeling a little bit old for the traditional dating apps but still want to date.
List early on what is vital and what isn’t
Before you start looking for potential suitors and speaking to them, it’s a really good idea to be sure what qualities are absolutely vital to you, and what ones you would compromise on. For example, you may not smoke yourself and be willing to date a smoker if they are particularly nice, but absolutely un-wiling to budge on your date being a meat eater. Sites like singleandmature.com, are great because you can find like-minded people within your age range.
Spread yourself around
You might choose to join a couple of dating sites depending on your age and what you are looking for. For example, if you are over 50 you might join up to a site for dating over 50, but also one for dating over 40 as you fit into both of these categories. Always be honest on your profile. The temptation to lie about your age may be quite strong if you are of a certain age – but trust me there will be people out there looking for someone exactly like you.
When the bravado of youth is gone, the thought of messaging someone first might absolutely terrify you. But really, the older you get the less you have to lose. Older people tend to have been around the block a few times and seen a bit of everything. What might seem a bit brazen and “uncool” to a 20 year old will not appear in the same way to someone over 40 or 50.
Forget your ex
Older people do tend to have had more relationships than younger people who are dating. I think we can all agree that the temptation to bring up your ex is strong sometimes, especially if they were particularly unpleasant. Well I am here to tell you that literally no-one of any age range wants to hear about your ex. Just don’t do it.
Be prepared for disappointment
People who are older tend to be very set in their ways. You have to have a bit of a thick skin if you are dating at this particular age and realise that it may take a fair few disappointments before you find someone suitable for you. After all, if it were that easy to find a partner it would be a little bit boring!
*this content was written in collaboration with Raging Ventures LTD