Camden Capers

Me and Camden are an unlucky combination.

I was there the night it burnt down, and last time I went I got two men arrested by accident and banned, indefinitely, for life, from the Holiday Inn. (The Camden Holiday Inn is shit anyway, so I wouldn’t actually go back if they paid me).

Me and my friends Sarah and Helen had a night out planned last night in Camden, and after waking up at 6am, falling back to sleep and not doing sod all I wanted to do with my day I was a little bit reluctant, but I knew I would have a laugh so I manned up got ready and went to Asda to buy provisions. By provisions I mean alcohol and fake moustaches. The essentials you see. Last time I went into Asda with Helen she had two dogs in her handbag, so I reckon they did alright out of us yesterday.

No matter how old I get, or how classy I aspire to be, I will ALWAYS love drinking on the train. Even if I was a millionaire I would still have a bottle of Sprite spiked with whisky on the C2C to Fenchurch street. It’s my hobby. I don’t take the piss out of people that like knitting do I?

Because we had to meet my friend Alice who was already up there waiting, the journey became very military.


As you can imagine the girls loved that. We got there in one piece and no one had pissed themselves. So far so good, maybe my luck with Camden is changing. The pub we went in, ‘The Elephants Head’ is one of a small handful I have never been in in Camden. I do find Camden pubs a little bit generic. If you go to ANY pub in Camden you will see the following:

  • Burley bouncer who looks like he should be in Basildon Liquid
  • Pierced and tattooed bartender
  • Girl with short hair and Dr Martins talking about volunteering in Africa/South America
  • Randomer on his own

Speaking of randomer on his own, my run of good luck had to end sometime. I don’t know what it is that makes me attract every weirdo within a 50 mile radius, but it happens everywhere I go. When I was at work the other week a nutty Canvey lady started talking to me about her 14 year old daughters belly button piercing. Great.

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  1. Alice
    March 23, 2014 / 7:11 pm

    Definitely not enough about me in this blog. And I told you in the first place that guy was well shifty!

    • March 23, 2014 / 7:16 pm

      If you want, I can write one about the time you tried to hold my hand in Greece?

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