Best Bits of 2015
Ahh 2015, what a year. At the time, you may have thought ‘oh god that was boring’ but when you ACTUALLY look back at 2015, we have had a funny, sweary, falley overy year with many, many celebrities either redeeming themselves or making them look like arseholes. I’ve run down a few of my favourite things in the media this year.
Zayn Malik leaving One Direction
Apparently, Zayn wanted to ‘Live while he was young’ and decided to quit the band that made him millions. When rumours started flying around in March about Zayn cheating on Perrie in Thailand, he took to Twitter to vehemently deny any wrong doing. Both camps insisted nothing untoward was going on, yet a few months later Zayn quit the band apparently to spend more time with Perrie. Then completely U – Turned and split up with her. Then hit self-destruct spectacularly and slagged off the band on Twitter, in interviews, and to basically anyone who will listen. The reason this is one of my favourite moments is because I can’t wait for him and the rest of One Direction to realise they are skint in ten years and do a reunion at Bognor Regis Butlins.
One of my absolute favourite stories from 2015, which truly warmed my heart, is the story of Madeline Stuart, an 18 year old with Down Syndrome who has successfully pursued a modelling career. Madeline has struggled with her weight, like many people with Down Syndrome, and last year she said ‘enough is enough’ and got fit and healthy and decided to become an absolutely kick ass model. She started gaining attention on social media, then in mainstream media and even walked the catwalk at New York Fashion week. If that isn’t enough to get you motivated to get back down the gym this January I don’t know what is!
Bin Lid Girl
I can’t say I’ve been an angel on nights out. I’ve been chucked out of clubs for walking in the coat closet to get my own coat, for falling down the stairs and losing my shoes and offended every taxi driver in the South East Essex area, but one thing I can confidently say is I have NEVER got a bin lid stuck on my head when getting a kebab at the end of the night. Unfortunately, Lad Bible picked up this video of a girl doing exactly that. It’s not just the star of the show, ‘Bin Lid Girl’ that I find so amassing in this video (although her gravely concerned face does set me off into fits of laughter), but also the onlookers. First of all, there is her friend who is about as much use as that iceberg was to the Titanic, trying in vain to remove the bin lid. Then there is the lad in the background, who is so interested in his kebab, she could have had her tits stuck in the bin lid and he wouldn’t notice, and finally, the man from the kebab shop who helped her get it off. Trust me, my local kebab shop in Pitsea would have called the police for property theft, so whoever lives near this kebab shop is lucky.
Prince Phillip getting all Sweary …
We’ve all got that one family member who loves a photo. You know them. Maybe it’s your Aunt, so you can get away with only looking at 168 photos of the same beach from her holiday now and again, or maybe it’s your Mum so there is no escape. Maybe, it’s your Uncle who gets you to all sit perfectly still for two hours while he faffs around with his camera and the lighting. This is just an annoying part of life we put up with, like Katie Hopkins having to be alive and that awkward time of year where the suns out and it’s hot but everything is fucking damp.
For Prince Phillip, being married to the Queen has its perks. The big house, the nice pensions, the holidays. But it also has its drawbacks. Yes, because putting up with annoying people wanting to take your photo isn’t just something he has to do at family parties, but ALL the time. Many people want pictures of Prince Phillip for various reasons (I’m imagining mainly nude calendars), and the photographer marking the 75th anniversary of the battle of Britain was no different. However, just a little bit different, because old Phil actually dropped the F-Bomb on him. Yep, it was widely reported (and witnessed) that Prince Phillip told him to ‘TAKE THE FUCKING PHOTO’.
Imagine how much of a laugh Biebs was having sitting up there knowing he has all those bangers under his belt while the whole world calls him a bit of a knob and really cringe. He’s still a right little shit, and I’m sure his spoiled brat days are far from over, but his new album Purpose has absolutely shocked everyone by being, well, good. He started off by tweeting a little teaser ‘What do you mean’ which was actually the name of his song, and it all escalated from there into a ball of catchy tunes and inappropriate fancying of someone far far too young. Considering he hasn’t done anything remotely twatty this year, he is kind of redeeming himself. Although I’m sure he’s be saying ‘Sorry’ for a lot of things in 2016.
Madonna stacking it at the Brits
Me and my Mum have totally different senses of humour. She absolutely kills herself laughing at people falling over, yet I don’t find this funny and I’m more of a prank type of person. Everyone laughs at different things. One thing I can confidently say, is that no matter how old you are, what race you are, what gender you are, or what you find funny, you DEFINITELY laughed at Madge going arse over tit at the Brits. There was so much to this situation to make it utterly hilarious, not firstly because Madonna is known for being quite a perfectionist, and well, a bit of a Bitch. The backing dancer had such sheer determination even though the cape wouldn’t untie, he still thought he would give it a good go. Or maybe, after weeks of rehearsals he just literally hated her and thought he would try and get rid of the old goat once and for all.