9 Facts/Stories About Me

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When those viral Twitter things go around, I can’t help myself from taking part. So when one went around asking for stories about yourself that seem unbelievable, I really wanted to reply. The issue was, I have LOADS of stories that sound completely unbelievable. It was too hard to just pick one, so I thought I would put them all in a blog post.

I had to have my toe sewn back on when I worked in Greece

Working in Greece was fun, until the resort actually opened and we had kids in our kids club. I’ve worked and lived abroad a couple of times and I always say I think anyone young should do it before they settle down. Anyway I was in charge of the kids over the age of 4 on a five-star resort in Greece. I took it super seriously, as you ca see from the below picture:

One day, a new guy started and I offered to show him around the town. This included a walk up the hill to the church. I kicked a rock in the dar wearing flip flops and tore my toe off. I’m including this gory picture because no-one ever believes how had it was.

My middle name is legally Lafawnduh

There is a character in the film Napoleon Dynamite called Lafawnduh. Me and my friends used to be pretty obsessed with that film. Before you know it I’m waking up after a drunken night to find out I legally changed my middle name by deed poll to Lafawnduh. My voting card now comes through as “Kelly L”.

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We changed my friends middle name to “Fanny Growler” 

I did do a story time on my Youtube channel about this, but I’ll add it to this list too. My friend Lisa and I were gearing up to pull a really good prank on our friend Lauren for her 30th. As I had recently found out how easy it was to change someone’s name by deed poll, we decided we’d give her a new middle name as a 30th birthday present. Luckily, when she got the certificate through, she saw the funny side. She did NOT see the funny side when she got a job at a school and it messed up her CRB application.

We once broke into my friends house because she went missing on a night out

This wasn’t even that long ago. We were at the pub, and my friend did a disappearing act. We were quite worried because she didn’t tell us where she was. She’d obviously gone to meet someone but we thought we better check her house. My friend does have a spare key, but she couldn’t find it. Us being us, the most sensible option, we thought, was to break in. So that’s exactly what we did and my friend and I and her sister were all sat round her dining table when she eventually came home.



I once dressed up as my friends Mum and Dad for Halloween

When I was a bit younger, we always used to go to a club near me called the “Pink Toothbrush” for Halloween, because it was incredible. Anyway around this time we were friends with a girl whose Mum and Dad were quite conservative. As a joke, my ex and I went to the Halloween night as her Mum and Dad, “Linda and John”. Luckily she saw the funny side. I guess I’m pretty lucky to have always been surrounded by people who see the funny side of things otherwise I’d have no friends.

I used to refuse to sleep unless I had a bucket on my head

Being the weirdo I am, you can imagine that my childhood was spent being a weirdo in the making. True to form, I used to have a few very strange habits. One of these included me refusing to go to sleep unless I had a bucket on my head.

I’m terrified of accordions

I don’t know why, I have no reason for it, but yes, I am terrified of accordions. I do remember that my Nan used to have one and I used to cry every time she got it out, and I guess I carried that into adulthood. When I worked in Covent Garden I even changed my route because there was a busker with an accordion at the station I changed at.

Once, I shone a laser pen in Claudia Schiffer’s castle window

One of my friends once invited me to his Dad’s house. His Dad was pretty well-off and the house was right out in the countryside. There were a couple of us staying and I’d recently returned from Turkey with a laser pen (and let’s be honest, who doesn’t love a good laser pen?). So I’m dicking about with it and I wanted to see how far it would go. I pointed it at the castle/mansion thing on the next plot of land and guess what? It was Claudia Schiffer’s castle. 

I have a rare condition which means I have “bear tracks” in my retina

Although it makes my retina scan look pretty because it literally looks like bear prints, it does mean my risk of colon cancer is increased. When the optician first told me, she was like “it’s very VERY rare”. Lucky me.

 

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