Ahh the 90s. Who didn’t love the 90’s (if you were not born in the 90s thanks for making me feel old). It was all Girl Power, Glitter, absolutely cheesy pop music and Smash hits magazine. Looking back on the 90s, I remember it fondly, and then I see what I’m wearing and think ‘Dear God why?’.
Anyway, here’s a roundup of some of the worst offenders.
- Puffa Jackets
Who remembers being absolutely DESPERATE for one of these even though it was the hottest July on record? Because nothing says ‘height of sophistication’ like a shapeless, metallic coloured outer garment that looks like it came from Go Outdoors with a free footpump.
- Double Denim
B*Witched totally had the monopoly on double denim in the 90’s, and they couldn’t ‘Blame it on the Weatherman’ because the saucepots wore it come rain or shine. We all remember rocking up to the school disco thinking we looked absolutely boss with our denim skirt and denim jacket and then sweating our tits off trying to cool down with a Panda Pop.
One of the most common pastimes in the 90s was going out to intentionally break your ankle. Well no, that was actually a lie, but it might as well of been when ‘flatforms’ came into fashion, something we all have the Spice Girls to thank for. They were like a weird, trainer, platform type situation that you could only walk in with the assistance of three people with manual handling training.
- Inflatable Bags
I don’t know about you, but I actually find it convenient that my bag holds all my stuff, doesn’t display all my valuables and doesn’t come with a puncture repair kit. Not in the 90s though. Wow were we living on the edge in the 90s? Striding through school on your lunch break, perspiration edging its way down your face while you battle the sheer terror of not knowing whether your bag will pop or not. Man what a time to be alive.
- Skirts Over Trousers
Too lazy to make a decision on what to wear? Don’t worry, skirts over trousers had you covered. To be honest this still makes me uncomfortable. I really didn’t understand what it was all about, and I still shudder to think about the monstrosities I saw around Basildon circa 1994.
- Pedal Pushers
To be honest, I still have a soft spot for a pedal pusher. There’s nothing like a trouser that makes your ankles look so sassy and fierce that the bottom of your trousers won’t approach them. Just make sure you don’t commit the fail of forgetting to shave your legs.
I put a pic of Destiny’s Child in camouflage to show you an example, but you probably can’t see them.
- Union Jack Dresses
Everyone flipping had one didn’t they? And the design was so short, it was like a sea of wall to wall growler. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for being patriotic, but possibly it could be done in a more subtle way like one of those flags on your car rowing over the EU, which NO ONE did in the 90s because NO ONE cared if we were in or out before they asked us.
- Fluffy Clothes, Hairbands or ANYTHING
Everything in the 90s was fluffy. EVERYTHING. Life was like a little dream world of glitter, fluff and animal print. Ever wonder why Furbies became extinct? It’s because the S Club 7 Skinned them all to make hairbands.