Apparently along with guidelines that you shouldn’t steal or lie, there is a page in the bible that says you need to do DIY or buy a big TV on bank holidays. I don’t know what it was that came first, the DIY stores having sales, or the people flocking to them, but you can guarantee that as soon as a bank holiday calls, the Essex male will flock to the B&Q on the Mayflower estate to buy tools to finally finish that decking/put those shelves up/fix that door hinge. Unfortunately due to the fact it is ONLY acceptable to do DIY on bank holidays, and there are only a few a year, that decking will go unfinished until the last Hunger Games film comes out.
2. Went to Southend (or Leigh).
If you are from Essex and a bank holiday rolls around, it’s as mandatory to go to Southend or Leigh for an Essex person as it is to have false eyelashes and tell people to shut up. Even if the weather isn’t all that, Essex people will absolutely persevere with their sunglasses and Havianas and go for a ‘Cider in the Sun’.
3. Went out with the kids to a fete.
A law was passed in the 1970’s making it illegal to have fetes or fun days any other day than a bank holiday. Well, this isn’t technically true but it feels like it. Bank holidays are like the rock stars of days off and get treated to all sorts of fun things, while normal, weekend days get left behind.
4. Laid in bed all day hung-over.
Humans absolutely cannot help themselves. Give us an extra day off and we are bang on the Jager singing the Saturdays into our mates broom in her garden. Which means we’re only getting up today to pay the take away man and throw up.
While everyone sane thinks of a bank holiday as an excuse to have an extra lay in, there’s always some nutter round your street mowing the lawn at 7am. Please see number 4 and you will see why said neighbour is always who I refer window salesman and bible people to.
Because none of the shops happen to be open evenings or weekends, and there is not a massive myriad of online store. No, if we get an extra day we must make the most of it by doing something we do every Saturday.
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