Recently, I thought I would join Plenty of Fish for a bit of a laugh.
I am in no way one of those people that is on an endless search for ‘the man of my dreams’, in actual fact the last few months I have been single have been the most happiest and stress free in my life, and I haven’t been happier since I was dribbling and shitting myself (when I was a baby, not my night out in London last week). To be honest, one of the main things I thought was ‘ooooh i’ll have something to blog about’.
Now I’m not being big headed, but I was BOMBARDED. I don’t think of myself as one of those ‘pretty girls’ but I’m always clean and I paint my nails. I thought I may get a few messages, have a bit of banter, and maybe message back.
The one thing I didn’t count on, is the fact that seeing as I actually haven’t got time for a boyfriend right now, I DEFINATELY haven’t got the time to put the effort into finding one. I always thought if I joined a dating website I would be one of those people who isn’t rude enough to totally fucking blank people if they have been brave enough to put themselves out there and message me.
Well I can tell you now, I have had to. I’ve seen it all now. I got offered a marriage and a threesome within the first 24 hours. Regarding marriages and threesomes, just going to throw this out there I would feel equally socially awkward in both situations. I now know why I have never looked into this before.
1. Because I’m happy being single
2. Because I’m not looking for a threesome or a marriage.
3. Because I have a job and a social life.
I’m not going to grass anyone up, because there are obviously a lot of people out there who have success on dating sites and even go on to get married, but here are some of the funnier messages:
”Hi, do you do hook-ups?”
Sorry mate, I don’t. Camping and General sell electric hook ups for tents though, try their website.
”hello, you allright? I have just signed up to POF so not sure what to write for first message but I like your profile and pics so if you want to get to know me and have a chat message back. sooner be honest I’m only up for fun atm with the right outgoing sort of girl”
I hope you didn’t sign up to the premium account because that would of been a massive waste of money.
”Hello. I apologise that my profile isn’t very informative (only just made it) so I’m happy to answer any questions you may have, or supply pictures, whatnot. I was wondering if you would be interested in chatting? I’m in no rush to get anywhere and wanted to get to know you and see where things go. Kind Regards ******”
Could you supply some pictures of cats please ******?
”Hey, so me and my girlfriend are looking for something a little different, so I guess if you’ve got a sec, check out my profile and maybe we can talk, peace x”
Profile pic is a picture of Zayn Mallik from one Direction.
I had no idea you and Perrie from Little Mix were so kinky.
”Will you marry me”
As romantic as that proposal was, it’s a no from me.
So needless to say, it’s been an experience, but I don’t think online dating is quite my cup of tea. You might occasionally meet someone nice that you like speaking to, but until I’m desperate enough to have an app that goes off every 5 seconds I think I will swerve it.