11 Murders Only People With Glasses Will Understand
Wearing eyeglasses full time is a big life change, and although it’s great to be able to actually see, there are a few things that are not so fun.
1. You will NEVER get them clean.
(Image source: https://jvaudio.wordpress.com/2009/03/16/the-mystery-of-dirty-glasses )
The little cloth you get in the case, paper towel, glasses cleaner. No matter what you use, you will forever look through your glasses and feel that you are either drunk or it’s foggy. You can be the most OCD, or clean person in the world, and you STILL will not be able to keep the little Bastards clean.
2. That first few days getting used to new glasses.
(Image source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1244940/Celebrity-Big-Brother-rejects-Katia-Lady-Sov-falling-papers.html )
When you get new glasses, or get glasses for the first time, you will probably find you go through a little ‘wobbly’ phase where you are getting used to them. My first day of my ‘wobbly’ phase resulted in me pouring a whole cup of coffee on the floor as I thought I was placing it on the ground. The only way to describe this phase to non-glasses wearers is ‘7 prosecco’s in’.
3. Wanting a pair to match each outfit, but not being a millionaire.
(Image source: http://mirokepinski.com/reading-glasses/the-least-expensive-method-to-purchase-doctor-prescribed-eyeglasses-is-actually-on-the-internet )
Yes it would be lovely to have your frames in tortoise shell as well as black, or a subtle brown to really match every single outfit that we have. Yet unfortunately, at around £200 a pop, unless you win the lottery you are stuck with the current frames you have and will need to match your outfit around them. No prizes for guessing why most eyeglasses are a black or brown frame, so if you get bright purple be warned, you have made your bed, lie in it.
4. Open oven to check dinner. Enter steam.
(Image source: http://www.assortedchaos.com/2013/01/18/glasses-the-pitfalls-and-the-one-perk )
Something as simple as wanting to check your dinner and avoid salmonella is a plight for the average glasses wear. Unfortunately, you need to learn the trick of opening the oven, waiting, then checking. Depending on how excited you are by the food you are cooking (mine is ranges from very excited to even more excited), this will be as hard task. I also hate to break it to you that it will be the same when you check a boiling pan.
(Image source: http://bostonbiker.org/2010/08/25/the-dos-and-donts-of-riding-in-the-rain )
No one likes the rain, it’s shit. However, it’s even more shit if you have tiny windscreens on your face that get soaking wet. You can either chose to be unable to see because of your wet glasses, or because you have taken them off and are quite blind without them.
6. People wanting to try them on.
(Image source: http://theglitterguide.com/2012/11/26/makeup-tips-for-gals-with-glasses )
As nice as it is when people take an interest in your glasses, it is also slightly inconvenient when they try them on and think they can wear them for about half hour. Unlike them, you actually need them to see, and it is unlikely you would go up to someone with crutches and a cast and ask for a go, so why it’s acceptable for glasses I’ll never know.
7. Glasses or cat toy?
(Image source: http://www.kittenspet.com/cute-kitten-playing-glasses)
We all know how hard it is to get cats interested in anything, so it’s no surprise that the things we don’t WANT them to play with, like our expensive glasses, they absolutely love.
8. Sore ears.
(Image source: http://www.eyecarebusiness.com/articleviewer.aspx?articleID=108966 )
No matter how comfortable your frames are, you can guarantee that you will have sore ears by the end of each day. For people who don’t like the idea of contacts, the only option if you want the luxury of being able to see.
9. Getting up and having your morning shower in near blindness.
(Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/sheppardaaron/house-bathroom)
Obviously, your glasses are not waterproof. Unless you buy waterproof glasses. So when you wake up first thing for a shower, not only do you have to deal with tired blurry eyed-ness but also having to feel your way around the bathroom because you can’t see. You also cannot wear glasses to apply eye make up so if your eyes are really that bad it’s anyone’s guess whether your eyebrows match or not. not so hot if you travel to work alone and won’t know until you get there.
10. Having to get yourself extras like prescription sunglasses and goggles.
(Image source: http://www.firmoo.com/prescription-goggles-p-1903.html )
Not only are there additional extras like better lens coatings and all sorts of glasses paraphernalia, you will also need to get sunglasses and goggles made to your prescription. Once you get used to your new bins, you literally won’t be able to see in anything else, so those Ray Bans you treated yourself to last year are out of the window.
11. Everyone saying you look more intelligent.
(Image source: http://careerstyler.com/en/index.php/posts/detail/maakt-een-bril-je-intelligenter )
Oh CHEERS. Did I look like a thicko before then?