10 Things Everyone Misses About Junior School

1. Taking the register down to reception after the teacher had done it was literally the biggest responsibility anyone could bestow upon you.

There was absolutely no difference in your mind to being the person who President Obama trusts with the codes to his entire nuclear arsenal or the person who takes the register down to reception once it has been done. You were the most responsible grown up EVER if you were trusted with the register. The register. The ACTUAL register.


2. The canteen magically transforms into a sweet shop during the school disco’s.

Renowned for laying on food so abysmal that the iced buns had slits in due to being doubled as the hot dog buns, the canteen becomes a magical, sweetie wonderland during the school discos, making it a really tough decision on how to spend your pound. You could get some laces and a bag of shrimps, or a push pop. Tough call.


3. Being at the age where it’s totally acceptable to spend all lunchtime making up dances.

Leave the angst, bitching and first kisses for senior school. During this hour lunchtime, at the age of 9, we are going to fucking SMASH that C’est La Vie dance. No slackers. I want people driving past that gate and thinking B*Witched are doing a charity concert. Make sure you ALL wear double denim tomorrow girls we are going to have our world premiere in the top playground behind the football goal.


4.Sports Day.

Back in the day, sports was actually fun. Forget the gym, forget running. Why can’t we lose weight at the age of 26 all going down the park for some sack races?

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