We’ve all been there. The hot guy in the office you have been fawning all over walks over to your desk and you think ‘Yes…FINALLY’, only to ask for the stapler and promptly ignore you for the rest of the afternoon. The guy in the office with questionable hygiene then comes over and asks if you are free tonight. With Valentines Day coming up, I thought I would share with you some excises for getting out of dates.
1. ”I painted some shelves earlier so I’ll be busy watching them dry”
If your potential suitor doesn’t note the sarcasm, he may be worth actually going out with, you will be able to spend a lifetime with him making sarcastic comments and he’ll be none the wiser.
2. ”I need to clean the fish out”
Pretty self explanatory and lets face it NO ONE likes dirty fish water. If there are people that are on this earth who don’t consider a dirty fish tank a grave emergency which you need to rush home for, then they are clearly undateable. If you have a particularly big fish tank this could see you busy the whole weekend.
3. ”I have to de-scale the kettle”
Continuing the theme of households tasks and things you can use to point out how boring going out with your potential date is, the good old descaling of kitchen appliances comes to the rescue. Why not take it one further and say you are deep cleaning the oven and the fridge and sorting out your cupboards too?
4. ”I’m not allowed to date until I am 16”
Perfect, and regardless of the fact you may be 46, this will keep any men who want to run the risk of signing the sex offenders register away from you for at least a few years.
5. ”I’m not allowed out without my carer”
Another simple and effective line which needs no further explanation. In actual fact the less you say the more and more scenarios will run through said mans’ head and hopefully he will do nothing but smile and nod to you for the rest of your lives.
6. ”I have a meeting with my parole officer”
Pages: 1 2